Whoops
by Kaoru-chibimaster
Summary: We didn't mean to kidnap the princess. It just kinda happened. Submission for AkuRoku Day 2015.


Whoops

A/N: Wow, I haven't written for AkuRoku day since 2012. Welp. Time to write something stupid to make my contribution.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, thank you very much…

Warnings: T for language

"Y'know…"

"Shut up!"

"—When we took on the job of stealing King Ansem's jewels and riches and such, it was plotted out to be a fairly simple task."

Axel took his eyes off the road for a second to glare at Roxas, before returning his attention to his surroundings. Roxas shrugged it off, knowing he wasn't really helping by pointing out how their simple little heist landed them with a country wide manhunt, thousands of munny on their heads, and a princess…a _very_ _irritated_ princess in their back seat. Roxas chanced a glance back at her…and was met with the deadly stare of a thousand suns, each entering supernova all at once. He returned his gaze to the road as well.

The highway was mostly empty; there were a few gummi cars here and there, but no cruisers and no police ships in the sky. The trio managed to evade the hunt after a lengthy transport chase, a makeshift hostage situation, and a transport full of nuns. It was really a rather insane situation, really. Axel, in a rare moment of absent mindedness, set off an alarm in King Ansem's vault, sending nearly half of Castle Bastion's guards at the two. Deciding he'd had enough of Oblivion Prison the first time he'd been sent there, Axel grabbed Roxas (and any jewels either of them had gotten their hands on) and bolted out of the room. They'd managed to run into a tight situation when they were headed off by a few guards, but, both having memorized the layout of the castle, the two managed to duck into an airshaft and shimmied their way to freedom…or rather, the princess Naminé's room. She screamed, they screamed, her maid screamed, the guards outside her door screamed before coming to their senses and barging into the room, only to find that their beloved princess was gone and her window was wide open. She'd been rather useful in keeping the authorities from shooting at the thieves, but had otherwise only made their escape more difficult. When she couldn't get her way from punching Roxas in the nose and kicking Axel in the balls, she'd resorted to screaming even louder and at one point had left clues for the guards to follow (hairclips, pocketed lipstick, her slippers) before the thieves had the good sense to bind and gag her. Afterwards, she spent her captivity hoping her mere glare would set the two men on fire and they'd crash into a tree or something.

Roxas huffed and slid farther down into his seat as he wallowed in his thoughts. They'd never be able to go home again, he and Axel. They were experienced enough to carry out jobs on their own, but they still belonged to a rather prominent thieve's guild, headed by a man named Baku. Even if they managed to avoid the authorities, they'd only barely accomplished half of their goal, which was equivalent to going back empty handed (although, on their own, those jewels were enough to make any poor man filthy rich). God knew what Baku would do to them if he found their pockets nearly dry as the Agrabah Desert. And considering they were now more than just petty, thieving criminals, they couldn't really chance turning around in the first place. As of now, they were headed to the Town of Departure, a little port town in which hopefully a Gummi Ship would be waiting if Axel's contact, Xigbar was the name, was to be believed. Axel had some sort of faith in him, though Roxas neither liked nor trusted the condescending man. And the Town of Departure was a two day drive from Radiant Garden, so there was no guarantee they'd still be this lucky by the end of the night. Not to mention, they still had no destination decided once they left the port town.

"I still say Traverse Town," Roxas mumbled into his collar, which had risen up when he had slid down in the seat. Axel was already shaking his head before Roxas had even finished.

"Too obvious. Everyone expects a couple of criminals to end up in that dump of a city. There's most likely already a news report on Daybreak News letting everyone know to watch out for us. And with 500,000 munny on our heads each, every scum bucket in Traverse Town will be keeping their eyes peeled for us…" he spoke quietly.

Daybreak News was the local news channel in Traverse and Daybreak Towns, however, no one in Traverse Town ever watched the news as most were too busy hoping they wouldn't see their own faces on the television. While Roxas understood that going to Traverse Town was a big risk, he had also been there multiple times, knew the city like the back of his hand, and knew the best holes to hide in. Axel, however, had other plans.

"We cross the border and go to Disney Kingdom," he continued, "Stay for a few days before heading east somewhere. I know King Mickey's good friends with King Ansem, but their entire kingdom's practically crime free and no one would be looking for criminals there. Not until King Ansem gets in touch with the royal family."

"Which could happen at any point," Roxas conjectured. Axel shrugged in disagreement.

"Nah. King Mickey doesn't like technology, so it's not like they could communicate very fast. Odds are, by the time the Mice hear of the news, we'll be living it up in the Land of Dragons," he smirked confidently. Roxas shook his head, noticing in his side mirror that Naminé too was shaking her head. Likely because she never believed they'd make it out of the country before Daddy Dearest had them dragged off to Oblivion.

"I still don't think Disney's a good idea."

"Rox, Traverse Town might be far enough that a gummi ship is necessary, but it's still a part of this Kingdom. One way or another, King Ansem'll find us if we stick around here," Axel sighed, slowing down to the speed limit once they passed the local borders into Twilight Town. They'd likely stay there for the night.

"Not like the Magic Kingdom's any better. Like you said, Ansem and Mickey are on good terms; we'll be caught there eventually. We'd be better off going to Midgar," Roxas said sarcastically. Axel didn't seem to catch the sarcasm however.

"No way am I living in that hellhole!" Axel exclaimed. Roxas was sure his heart stopped for a moment when the gummi car swerved alongside Axel's exclamation. Thankfully, Axel righted the car and there was no cop hanging around to find it suspicious. Twilight Town was a rather mellow place after all. They had to be careful, though, considering how close it was to Radiant Garden.

"I know, Axel, jeez! I didn't actually mean it! No way would I live there either!" Roxas said. Having been born in that evil place, he truly had no desire to ever go back. His parents stayed because they felt an odd duty to protect their home from its own horrors. Roxas felt no such obligation and left the moment he turned fifteen. Now, at twenty three, he continued to hate his birthplace with a burning passion, and could only hope his parents would come to their senses and leave soon as well. He'd never know, himself. He stopped talking to them a year after he'd left. And with Baku's guild to take care of him, he'd never felt the need to go back to them or to Midgar. That wasn't going to change just because he and Axel were on the run and a bit desperate.

"God, don't even joke about that!" Axel continued. While he had never been to Midgar personally, his life spent in thievery had given him more than a clue of its living conditions. And after meeting Roxas, he truly learned what it meant to be a Midgar citizen, a sheep of the ShinRa, an expendable pawn to the president's will. The man had no qualms with murdering his own people after all. While Traverse Town might be a dirt hole infested with criminals, Midgar was Hell on Earth infected with living corpses, cattle to be slaughtered when they no longer entertained their leader. Axel never understood why Roxas' parents stayed after hearing his stories. It truly took a martyr to want to protect that place. Or an idiot.

"Fine, fine. Like I said, we can't risk the Magic Kingdom Either. So where else?" Roxas said calmly, trying to appease his partner.

"…Wutai?"

Roxas tilted his head in question at that. While Wutai was a relatively small empire that stayed out of other countries' affairs, it was far away, remote, and few people there spoke the common tongue. While learning multiple languages was mandatory in Midgar schools (mostly so anyone there could understand if a Wutain or Atlantean was insulting them), Roxas was a bit rusty on his Wutain and Axel knew none at all. It seemed weird that he would want to live in a place where he couldn't understand anyone other than the odd merchant who learned Common.

"Yeah, I mean, you could probably teach me Wutain—"

"Doubt it." Axel was a stubborn learner and had trouble admitting he was wrong.

"And you know it well enough to get us registered as citizens there. It'll work out better than Disney. And _way_ better than Traverse."

Roxas realized that Axel sounded a bit too confident in their futures. They had no guarantee they'd even make it out of the country at this point. As they cruised through the streets of Twilight Town (or city, rather, as it was just as big as Radiant Garden), Roxas thought to himself that they'd be lucky not to be arrested at the next motel they stopped at. The princess sure seemed to think they would be, as she kept her eyes peeled for any place they could stop so she could make a fuss and have the police on the two before they could even blink. Axel, of course, knew this was her plan and kept his own eyes peeled for an entirely different reason. He must have found what he was looking for as he turned down a back alley and continued on to a small, dinky looking motel just at the edge of the more ghetto looking part of town. The lights on the vacancy sign were flickering, but decidedly on, meaning they at least had a place to stay here. Not that they really wanted to, but beggars can't be choosers and there would be no more travelling that day–or night, rather. Axel needed to be wide awake to continue the trek to Departure, and considering Roxas behind the wheel was suicide and the princess would likely just drive them to the nearest police station, he was basically their only option.

"Alright, since I'm the most charming of us both—and don't you give me that look, you know I'm right!" For Roxas had given Axel a decidedly un-charming look at that statement. "I'll go snag us a room. You find a way to smuggle the princess in without anyone seeing."

At that, he stepped out of the car and headed into the front office…or booth, rather, to speak with the counterman. A kid with spikey black hair, piercings in every area he could get away with, and bright golden eyes. He looked the sort to be in an amateur punk band, rather than working a motel. As the bell attached to the door jingled, he looked up for a split second before quickly turning away and stuffing something he had in his hands into a desk that sat behind the counter. He then spun at a one-eighty again with a bright smile plastered on his face.

"Welcome to Backyard—"

"You're totally smoking blunts behind the counter, aren't you?" Axel interrupted, incredulous.

"Shut up man!" the boy said, smile wiped clean off his face as his eyes swept from side to side. "If my grams hears you, she'll flip a shit!"

"I think she'd smell _you_ first…" Axel replied with a smirk. The look on the kid's face told Axel he clearly hadn't thought of that possibility. He held up a finger, his nails surprisingly clean and well-kept despite the rest of his appearance, before heading into the back room. There were sounds of bustling and a few curses before he returned with two bottles of air freshener.

"Let me get you a room real quick," he said as he searched the ancient computer on the counter for the vacancy. A small 'a-ha!' slipped from his mouth before he reached under the counter and handed Axel the correct key.

"You're lucky. This room's the cleanest," he said with a sniff. Axel took the key with raised brows.

"How clean are we talking?"

"There's no cum or blood on the sheets and carpet. And Em just cleaned the whole row of rooms that yours is a part of, so it shouldn't smell weird either."

"… Good to know."

The boy nodded and smirked in satisfaction. Axel decided that was as far as he would continue this conversation and turned toward the door.

"Well, thanks, umm…"

"Vanitas."

"…?"

Vanitas' expression dropped a bit as he caught the expression on his customer's face, a slight glare in his eyes and a furrow in his brow.

"I didn't fuckin' choose it."

Axel nodded at that. He didn't choose his birth name either. But then, that's part of the reason why he changed it. It didn't really fit him as he got older.

"Right," Axel continued, "Thanks Vanitas. We should be out of your hair by tomorrow morning."

He just caught Vanitas waving him away before he grabbed the two bottles of air freshener and held them up as if he was wielding twin guns. Axel closed the office door to the sound of spraying.

All while this was happening, Roxas was trying his hardest to drag a squirming teenage girl out of the car and out of the view of the street. It was, of course, sketchy looking as all, and he had to grit his teeth at the thought of what would happen if someone caught them. The princess wasn't exactly making it easy for him, kicking her legs out, screaming beneath her makeshift gag and elbowing Roxas in the face multiple times.

' _She'll knock my nose off at this rate_ ,' he thought to himself.

"Shut up already! We'll let you go soon enough, but not here. We're too close to central Twilight Town and we don't want you running off back to Radiant Garden so quickly!" he hissed at her. She only answered with yet another searing glare. Deciding he'd had enough of the stubborn princess, Roxas hefted Naminé over his shoulder and carried her over to a row of doors, hoping to find Axel in front of one of them. No such luck. He must still have been procuring a room for all of them. Roxas had a choice: head back to the car and hope Naminé doesn't elbow his jaw off of his face. Hefting her back up onto his shoulder –she had started to slip off for a moment– and turning back to the street, Roxas prepared to sprint back to the car and hide out in it while he waited for Axel to finish.

Mid sprint, he just happened to bump into someone. And sadly, it still wasn't Axel. Roxas stared owlishly at the tall, blond man and his equally tall, blonde partner. Naminé, looking over Roxas shoulder, immediately starting kicking and screaming even more. At this, the woman narrowed her piercing teal eyes at the two of them, before exchanging a skeptical look with the man. He chose that moment to speak up.

"I don't know what kind of sexual deviancy you kids are into today, but at least try to keep it to the bed rooms…" he said in a clear, foreign accent. Roxas briefly wondered if he was from Disney—he'd only ever heard that accent there, specifically from the inhabitants of London. The woman next to him, however, did not share this accent. Hers was as unrefined as Axel's and Roxas had the smallest notion that he'd met her before.

"We have our own…activities to get up to in the bedrooms, Luxord. C'mon," she said as she dragged the man, Luxord, along. She gave one last glance towards them before the two entered another room. Roxas shook his head, as did Naminé for a completely different reason, before turning around. And nearly running Axel over. He seemed to expect that as he backed up a bit. Roxas, however, was far more focused on the scowl on his face.

"Uh…"

"I'm pretty sure I said to smuggle the princess in _without_ anyone seeing," he calmly stated, though his twitching eyebrow suggesting he wasn't feeling calm in the slightest.

"Which would have been easier if you hadn't taken so goddamn long finding a room!" Roxas huffed, hefting Naminé up again. She grunted and sent him yet another glare.

"You couldn't have waited in the car?"

"While Her Highness found a way to kick the backseat window out and make an even bigger fuss? We're lucky it was just those two. They seemed to think we were getting kinky or some shit," Roxas shot back, a grimace on his face at the thought. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. We're good to go," he said as he held up a key. "Room 205. Commit it to memory."

Roxas glanced at the rooms, wondering where the hell the other two-hundred rooms were and why he had to memorize something so simple when there was only a twelve room selection. Deciding not to question it, he grabbed the key from Axel and made his way over to the room while Axel went to the car to grab anything they may need. It was an ordeal getting the door opened, but somehow he managed.

Taking a look around the room, he noticed that it could've been worse. There was no discernable smell, which was preferable to, well, _any_ smell, and the carpet was fairly clean. There was a rather large stain over in one corner, but it looked ancient and, judging by the color, was most likely some sort of food. He, and the princess, were taken out of their observation of the room as they heard the door opening. Axel walked in carrying the jewel-filled duffel bag and another large trash bag filled with clothes and whatnot that was always left in the trunk for this sort of situation.

"Who's dick did you have to suck to get us _this_?" Roxas asked, jerking his head to indicate the room.

"The counter boy's. He was pretty cool about it too. Even let me lick his balls," Axel snarked back, eyes rolling. Naminé made a noise of disgust, while Roxas joined in the eye rolling, knowing better than to take Axel seriously.

"Okay, so how are we doing this?" Roxas inquired, looking aimlessly around to find someplace to set the squirming princess down before she threw herself out of his grip and busted her head open. Axel stood in front of her and looked directly into her eyes.

"Look, kid. Me and Rox here? We can be pretty decent people when we want to be. But right now, you're not giving us a reason to be. Keep your ass quiet and you can get out of this unscathed, understand?"

Roxas shivered slightly at the tone in Axel's voice. He knew for a fact Axel never made an empty threat, and hoped for the princess's sake that she would settle down and not try to escape or scream for help when they set her down and ungagged her (she had to eat after all). He wouldn't blame her if she did, after all, he would if he was in that position, but it would be pretty counterproductive for him and Axel nonetheless. Naminé seemed to realize how serious he was as well as Roxas could feel her nodding frantically. He could imagine the look that was most likely on her face at that moment…

Axel pulled a chair over from the corner of the room before motioning for Roxas to set her down. He riffled through the bag a bit before pulling out a roll of duct tape and stripping long pieces off of it, a slightly maniacal smile on his face all the while. Princess Naminé watched with wide eyes as he made his way over to her, too frightened to struggle. Roxas only watched in boredom however as Axel set to the task of taping Naminé to the chair. Deciding she was secure enough, he pulled the tape from her mouth and waited.

"…What do you want from me?" she finally asked after a minute or so.

"Silence," Axel simply replied. The Princess raised an eyebrow at that.

"That's it?"

"Yep."

Roxas decided to quell her confusion. "We weren't trying to kidnap you in the first place, so there's nothing we actually want from you. We already have what we want. Basically, you were just an accident along the way," he shrugged.

"So then…what are you going to do with me?" she asked, eyebrow raised even higher.

"Nothing," Axel replied. "So long as you don't alert the authorities, we'll drop you off in Departure and let the police take you back home safe and sound. We might be jewel thieves, but we're not monsters."

"So…you're not gonna…you know…"

Roxas' brow furrowed in confusion, but Axel seemed to understand her meaning just by her body language: legs pressed together, shoulders hiked up and an odd curve to her spine that gave the impression she was trying to hide her own body away. She thought they were going to…

"Oh no. No no no no no no, I wouldn't even! Besides, there's only one person I'm interested in," Axel said, vehemently shaking his head in protest and slight disgust. Then, to prove his point, he quickly turned to Roxas, grabbed the blond man's shirt and pulled him over to lay a very open-mouthed, very wet kiss on his lips. Judging by the look on Roxas' face, he wasn't amused.

Naminé's eyes couldn't have gotten wider.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Axel nodded, having pulled away from Roxas and smoothed his wrinkled shirt down. Roxas rolled his eyes and wiped at his mouth.

"That aside," Roxas sighed, "We have no interest in teenage girls, so you're not exactly in danger from us. Considering where we're bunking tonight, though…you might want to sleep with one eye open."

That only seemed to have made it worse. Somehow, her eyes _did_ manage to get wider. From there, on her seat, she could only watch as the two set to their routine: stashing the jewels (which she in fact didn't see as Axel had covered her eyes), checking the premises through the window for any unexpected visitors, and readying themselves –as well as their not so nice bed– for the night. They pulled off the sheets, not trusting that they were really clean before setting their own blankets (also pulled from the trunk) onto the beds. Axel gestured to one of them.

"That one's yours, Princess. Sorry it's not exactly high class, but well…we'll only be here for one night." Judging by the tone of his voice and the bored look on his face, he wasn't really that sorry. Naminé simply waited as they unbound her from the chair, only to tie her to the bed, knowing full well attempting anything would get her in trouble. She was, at the very least, grateful that they truly had no interest in her, only getting the deed done quickly and never touching anywhere inappropriate for a young lady such as herself to be touched. Although, she would have been more grateful if the two men hadn't decided to save time and shower together.

She could have done without the noises they were making in there.

Bleary-eyed and exhausted, Roxas woke to the sounds of shuffling. He turned over in his bed, wrinkling his nose at the springs digging into his back, to find the source. Axel was rummaging around in the duffle bag, mumbling to himself. At the sound of the bed creaking, he looked up and smiled.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he murmured. Knowing Roxas wasn't much a morning person, he accepted the tired nod he received as an answer before returning to his search. Figuring that it wasn't too important or Axel would've made more of a fuss, he didn't bother asking and sat up in the bed, scratching at his scalp with one hand and wiping sleep out of his eyes with the other. He felt a little disgruntled to see the bathroom door closed and the light on, but his own bathroom business wasn't so serious he couldn't wait. At Axel's exclamation of 'aha!' however, his curiosity cancelled out said disgruntlement.

"I couldn't find Xig's number. I knew I had written it down somewhere…" he continued. He then picked up the room's phone and started punching in numbers. After a moment's wait, he started to speak.

"Hey, Xigbar. We're gonna be a little late getting there—"

There was the sound of shouting on the other end, though most of it was drowned out by the sound of flushing and a sink being turned on. At this, Roxas stood and headed for the bathroom. Naminé squeaked when she opened the door and saw him standing there before quickly slipping passed. Hearing the argument coming from the phone and Axel's annoyed replies, she bit her lip in thought. His back was turned…and the door was right there. Her feet started moving without command, her hand outstretched slightly and her eyes flicking nervously between the door and Axel's back. Almost there…

 _Knock knock knock_

And her plight was ruined by the series of loud banging on the door. Naminé froze instantly, another squeak escaping her lips as Axel's head swiveled, a glare trained at the door…and at her once he noticed her close proximity to it.

"Hang on, Xig."

Setting the phone on the small bedside table, he got up and quietly moved to the window, checking the area around the door and around the vicinity of the room. Naminé watched diligently for any adverse reactions. If there were police at the door, she was prepared to scream. No such luck, however, as Axel simply rolled his eyes and went to open the door. Sighing heavily, Naminé sat down in the same chair she had been tied to earlier and tried to calm her racing heartbeat. As inviting as that open door, no way was she going to attempt running past the crazy red-head. Or the even crazier looking black-haired boy standing in the doorway with an irritated look on his face.

"…You alright kid?" Axel asked. At this point Roxas had finished his business and walked out of the bathroom, an eyebrow raised. He moved to stand in front of Naminé, leaving the princess to stare at his bare back (which, in her opinion, was a little more welcoming than Piercing Boy).

"Gram got in my ass. A typical morning, don't worry about it. Anyway, the reason why is 'cause you guys didn't pay yet, so…"

"Oh right…" Axel said. Considering he was wearing the same pants as yesterday, he already had his wallet at the ready and simply walked out of the room to take care of that. Roxas, took the opportunity to pick up the phone and speak with the "Xig" person Axel had mentioned. This time, there was no fussing from the other line as Roxas spoke.

"Xigbar? Yeah, it's me. We were kinda held up…no, no we did not…Xigbar, that's terrible…yes, I know it's something you would do –that's not my name, by the way– but that still doesn't make it any less—"

At this point, Naminé tuned him out as she once again stared at the door. Maybe if she was quiet…and Roxas was too absorbed in his conversation to notice her, surely… Once again, as slowly and silently as she could, Naminé stood from her seat and started to move towards the door. Besides, Roxas wasn't as big or intimidating as Axel. He was barely taller than _her_ , and she knew she was short. Maybe she could still get away even if he caught her. After all, she easily got away with punching him in the face before.

Then again, she had guards at her back when they were still at the castle.

Regardless, Naminé wasn't going to trust these two thieves that easily. They may not have done anything to her…hell, they'd neglected to tie her up again, even. But they still remorselessly stole from her father and kidnapped her from her home just to use her as a human shield, so she had little reason to believe they wouldn't throw her in a ditch somewhere. She'd get through that door even if she had to fight through Roxas to get there. And she was indeed almost there.

"If you try to escape, I'm tying you up again and shoving you in the trunk."

She jumped at his voice and turned to see him watching her. She wasn't entirely sure when he'd started watching her, but then she wasn't entirely sure when she'd stopped glancing at him to make sure he wouldn't catch her. Still though…that was her freedom right there. Damn if she wasn't going to run for it. He'd have to catch her to put her in the trunk after all. She shot him a dirty look and shot for the door, even managing to actually run into the damn thing. Clawing at the door knob, she finally managed to turn it and fling the door open…only to run right into the same two people Roxas had bumped into the previous day. The blonde woman –the one Naminé nearly ran over– sneered at her.

"Watch where the fuck you're going already!"

Naminé didn't even have time to apologize before she felt a pull at her collar and was quickly dragged back into the room. Roxas stood before the door and shrugged.

"Sorry about that, Miss…"

"Larxene."

"…Wait, _you're_ Larxene? Tell me, do you know someone named—"

Naminé kicked at his legs at that moment, once again trying to escape. He wasn't going down that easily, however. In fact, he seemed to have been expecting something like that as he simply turned around, grabbed her arms, and held them behind her back. The Princess, not giving in so easily either, started struggling and cursing at him. He merely ignored her and turned back to the two.

"You know what, never mind that. Just…sorry about her, she's being difficult."

Larxene rolled her eyes at that before walking away, not even acknowledging the apology. The blond man, however, stood there for a little while longer, watching them with an amused smile on his face. He then leaned in close to Roxas.

"You know, when you kidnap a princess, you might want to be more discreet about it," he said. Chuckling at the look on Roxas' face, he too walked away, following behind his partner with a casual stroll. He shouldn't have been surprised; she was the princess after all. Still, he had a point. She was a little too obvious. Roxas glanced at the still struggling girl, too irritated to be bothered by the once more present glare in her eyes. Sighing, he shook his head at her.

"You know what this means."

When Axel exited the motel's call office, he wasn't expecting to find Roxas stuffing their belongings in the trunk so soon. It usually took him a while to even be awake enough to eat breakfast, let alone start packing up. Walking over, he cast a curious glance at Roxas before peering in the trunk…and nearly choking on his own spit.

"Rox, what the fuck? Why are you stuffing the Princess in the trunk?"

Roxas shushed him before closing it.

"I promised her I would. I already put everything under the back seat. I don't trust her with any of it," he said before slipping into the passenger's seat. Axel stared at him the entire time, a look of disbelief on his face, only moving when Roxas shouted at him to come on.

"What's the deal?" he asked as he got into the driver's seat and started the car. "She try something?"

"Yeah. She tried escaping."

At this, Axel rolled his eyes and drove off. They were making a straight shoot to Departure and were only stopping for food (and maybe letting the princess out of the trunk if she was on good behavior), so there was no point in sticking around.

"Yeah she tried that with me too while I was talking with Xig. Speaking of which, did he say anything useful while I was out?"

Roxas was nodding his head before Axel had even finished. "Yeah, he said that they've got patrols all up and down the highways, so we may want to take some back roads."

"Shit. Are there even any backroads from Twilight to Departure in the first place?"

"Well, it's not so much a backroad as it is an alternate highway. But we'd probably deal with patrol transports there too," Roxas sighed.

"True, but they'll be more concentrated on the main highway. Heh, maybe it's a good thing you stuffed the princess in the trunk," Axel grinned. Roxas snorted at that.

"You're damn right. Oh hey, you know Larxene was in the room right next to ours?"

"Larxene…?"

"Xion's roommate. At least, I think it was. I've only seen her once before."

"Oh. Well, what was she doing there?"

Considering the fact that Axel and Roxas' room wasn't the only one from which…interesting sounds were emitting, Roxas was surprised he even asked. Axel seemed to sense the look Roxas wasn't giving him and got the idea quickly.

"I thought you said she and Xion were fucking, though…"

"Apparently not anymore. I don't know, I haven't talked to Xion in a…while…holy shit, speak of the devil…"

Considering Xion lived in Twilight Town, it wasn't so strange to imagine they might see her there. However, spotting her on the side of the road while she was the very topic of conversation was another story entirely.

And she had her thumb out.

"Pull over."

"What? Rox—"

"Just do it!"

Grumbling, Axel pulled up beside the woman in question, watching in silence as Roxas rolled down the window.

"Xion! What are you doing out here?!" he asked her. She did a double take as she recognized him.

"Holy crap, Roxas? Oh my god, it's been nearly a year! How are you?" she exclaimed as if it were simply a casual meeting between the two.

"That's what I should be asking you! Why are you trying to hitch a ride?" his eyes drifted downward for a moment. "And…are you?"

Axel followed Roxas' line of sight and suddenly felt the same surprise. Xion, of all people, was—

"Yup. Pregnant. Can you even believe?" she laughed. Roxas turned his concerned gaze to Axel, who understood immediately what he wanted. Unlocking the door, he gestured for Xion to get in the car. She quickly climbed in the backseat and sighed gratefully.

"Thanks. My own transport broke down up the road and I've been trying to hitch a ride forever! Honestly, you'd think people'd feel more sympathy for a lady with a baby!"

"Yeah…" Roxas replied, a worried crease in his brow as he watched Xion settle herself in.

"Were you heading out of town? This road leads to Twilight's borders…" Axel asked, sensing the lull in the conversation that would have started had it just been left to Xion and Roxas.

"Yup. I was heading to my parents' place. Larxene moved out, and well…I kinda don't know who the father of my baby is, so I need to go back home and get on my feet…"

Roxas groaned before she even finished her sentence.

"Xion…"

"What? It was a party, I was drunk, he was hot…things happened, and now I'm four months and he's long gone."

"Four months?! Why am I only hearing about this now?!" Roxas shouted, causing a thump to be heard from the trunk. Xion gave it a perplexed glance before answering.

"I uh…I couldn't think of a good way to break the news…"

Both Axel and Roxas sighed in exasperation at that. While Axel wasn't as close to Xion as Roxas was, he at least would have liked to know what was going on.

"You of all people should know I wouldn't judge," Roxas continued, shaking his head. "And besides, what did your parents have to say about this? We both know they aren't exactly the most laid back people…"

Xion was silent once again. Roxas turned to her with a raised eyebrow when she failed to answer his question, before said eyebrow joined the other in a scowl when he noticed the sheepish look on her face.

"You didn't tell them."

"They only know that Larx moved out and that I don't have enough to pay all the bills…"

"They're gonna flip their shit, Xion."

She nodded in agreement.

"Well, why don't you come with us instead?" Axel offered. Xion perked up at that.

"I'd probably be better off. Heard you guys did a job and nearly got busted on the radio. Where are you headed now?" she asked, smiling excitedly.

"Right now, Departure. Once we make it to the Gummi Ship, we'll be off to Wutai," he answered, turning onto the route that would take them to Departure. It would be a longer ride than the main highway, but considering how deserted it was, it was definitely the safer option.

"You guys better hurry, then. They're be police everywhere at the Gummi Port, you know," she said. Axel nodded at that. He knew there would be police swarming the Gummi Port, but thankfully Xigbar had thought of that. They would be using a smaller, private port as opposed to the larger commercial one. It would at least make it easier to get away if they got caught.

"What's in Wutai, by the way?" she asked, sending yet another glance at the trunk. Roxas was thankful he at least thought to gag the princess.

"Nothing. We couldn't decide if we wanted to go to Traverse or Disney, so I just picked Wutai randomly and now we're going with it," Roxas said.

"Huh. Weird choice. I mean, I understand not going to Disney since their King is so close with ours, but isn't Traverse easier to hide in? Plus, you don't need to know another language just to live there…" Xion said, rubbing her chin. Roxas nodded along.

"That was my thought. It's huge, and the layout's practically a maze. Plus, there are some thieves' guilds that would easily hide a couple of Baku's boys…"

"Yeah, but Traverse is still within the country, and we want to avoid anything to do with this place…"

"Now I see where your argument is coming from," Xion laughed.

"Yeah, so Wutai's our next best bet. You know Midgar schools teach mandatory Wutain, so it's not like we'll be completely lost…" Roxas said. Xion, having grown up in Daybreak Town, had only learned marginal Wutain as an optional course because Daybreak and Wutai were only separated by an ocean anyway. However, Roxas figured he could use all the help he could get, so if Xion was indeed travelling with them, she could certainly lend a hand if he had forgotten something. She must have read his mind as she voiced this herself.

"Well my Wutain's probably rustier than yours, but I'm sure we'll get by…"

She jumped then when another large thump sounded from the trunk.

"What in the seven circles of Hades was that?!" she exclaimed, staring owlishly behind her now.

"…How much did you hear about us when you listened to the radio?" Axel asked.

"I…I heard that you guys robbed King Ansem and barely got away. I didn't listen to the whole thing."

"Yeah, well…we kinda…kidnapped the princess," Axel continued, a sheepish gracing _his_ face now.

"…The Princess of Radiant Garden is in your trunk," Xion deadpanned.

"Yup."

"…Oh my Lord."

"That's why we're taking this road. We don't want to get caught out on the main highway."

"…Oh my Lord!"

"…Still going with us?" Axel asked. Xion's face scrunched up at the idea of getting caught in a car with the two people who kidnapped a Princess, before a thought occurred.

"Wait, so…are you taking the Princess to Wutai as well?" Xion asked. At the question, the noise in the trunk grew a bit louder.

"Hell no. We just haven't found a good place to drop her without someone seeing. We were planning on leaving her in Departure anyway," Axel replied.

"But…doesn't she know where you're going? Won't she send her father after you?" Xion pressed on. It seemed kinda obvious they weren't out of the ballpark just yet. However, it seemed to not affect them much. Roxas was even smirking at the question.

"Even darling little Princess Naminé knows that if King Ansem sends anyone after us and into Wutai, he'll likely be starting a war. Two fugitives are totally under Emperor Godo's notice. Kingdom soldiers on the other hand are a whole different ballpark. And considering Wutai's attitude towards foreign governments, if Ansem tried going to Wutai himself, he'd get booted out quickly. I doubt trying to ask the Emperor to arrest us for him would go over well either."

This wasn't a rare occurrence. In fact, Wutai wasn't the only country to practice this thought of hating foreigners. Mostly thanks to Midgar's bad habits of trying to colonize every landmass they could, Disney was the only country open to another and that just so happened to be the land Axel and Roxas were trying to escape. There was a downside to this, of course. While Emperor Godo cared little about two or three insignificant people entering his Empire to escape another, the people of Wutai most likely wouldn't be very welcoming. Especially to Roxas, whose pale skin and electric blue eyes practically screamed Midgar resident. Funny, too, considering he'd be doing most of the talking while there…

Xion simply nodded at the explanation. True, while Ansem would likely be hell-bent on trying to bring his daughter's kidnappers to justice, he likely wouldn't start a war. Wutai may be a small country, but it had powerful allies who disliked the Radiant Kingdom and its close connection with Midgar. A war would not end well at all. And it certainly wasn't worth it over a couple of jewel thieves.

"Well…" Xion started, finally deciding to answer Axel's previous question, "I'm not really keen on going to my parents' place, and I don't really have anywhere else to go… I'll go with you guys, but I'll have your heads if I'm thrown in jail over this."

Both men nodded quickly and turned back to the road. It was a long drive, or at least it felt longer than it truly was: nearly two hours spent in silence as Roxas and Xion stared out of their respective windows and Axel kept his eyes peeled for any police. While a few patrol transports had passed by, they did not slow down or turn on their lights, and the three released a collective breath each time. Finally, nearing mid-day, they saw the borders of The Town of Departure. And it was lined with police transports.

"Shit."

Roxas and Xion found themselves agreeing with Axel's whispered curse. Thankfully, Naminé didn't hear it and had been quiet for most of the ride, so there was no response heard from the trunk.

"How the fuck are we going to get by this?!" Roxas asked. Axel, knowing how suspicious it would look if he turned around, simply drove forward at a snail's pace, his mind racing. He knew it wouldn't be easy getting through Departure, but he never imagined this. At this moment, both he and Roxas wished they had simply left Naminé in Twilight Town and hoped she wouldn't send police cars after them the very moment she was found.

Too late for that.

"Call Xig, Rox," Axel said, handing him a PHS he kept in the armrest pouch and Xigbar's number which had been stuffed in his pocket. He never figured it would ever be needed, after all few people outside of Midgar used mobile phone systems, so he mentally crossed his fingers and hoped to whatever gods were out there that it was charged up. He heard Roxas typing on it. Phew. It's working.

"Xigbar? Yeah, it's me—no we're not in Departure yet. We're at the border and there are police everywhere. Yeah? Wait…you are? …Oh. Um, wow. Okay. Yeah, I mean we are _directly_ at the border. We're almost at the line of police. Please hurry! Thanks!" Roxas hung up before turning to Axel.

"He knew about the police. He was actually on his way to come out here and meet us. With the gummi ship."

"Well, shit that's great! But when's he gonna be here? We don't exactly have all day…"

"He needed to talk to Cid about a Navi-G piece, since his was blown, so he's gonna need to wait for the new one to calibrate with the ship's system. At most that should take five minutes, and then another minute to get here," Roxas said.

"Fuck, we don't exactly have six minutes…" Axel said, the line of police now close enough that they could see each of the transports individually.

"Well, we can't exactly force a Navi-G piece to calibrate in the blink of an eye, either," Roxas argued.

"Damn it, Xig! Why'd he wait so long to do this shit?" Axel cursed to himself again. Roxas rolled his eyes at that.

"This _is_ Xigbar we're talking about…"

They were interrupted when Xion hummed, catching their attention. Roxas watched (Axel had to focus on driving as slow as possible while still not looking suspicious) as Xion pulled down the armrest in the back seat, revealing the princess, tied up and gagged.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness," Xion said to her before aiming a fist at Princess Naminé's head. It knocked her out on the second try.

"…Remind me to never get on your bad side," Axel said, glancing back when he heard the first punch. Xion's cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"I figured, while they might check the trunk anyway, it'd be easier if she wasn't making any noise…"

"Yeah, but still! Through the cup holder gap?! It'd take _me_ more than a few tries to knock her out with that little amount of space!"

At Axel's praise, Xion's face turned an even brighter red and she mumbled something unintelligible. However, the two thieves were anything but thankful when they finally reached the border into town. Immediately, they gained the attention of every policeman and woman standing guard. One of them, a rather short woman with brown curly hair and bright green eyes stepped forward to greet them. While her face was set in a serious expression, she didn't look particularly menacing. The badge on her shirt however, indicating that she was of the Twilight Town Police Department, belied that she was not to be underestimated. TTPD were trained from the get-go to be ruthless, lest the city end up another Traverse Town. This didn't bode well for Axel and Roxas at all. She would definitely check their trunk.

"'Morning officer," Axel greeted pleasantly when she finally reached his opened window. The officer nodded back to him.

"Same to you. You were driving pretty slowly back there. Everything all right?" she asked. Straight down to business it seemed.

"Yeah. We just picked up our friend Xion here," he nodded to the woman in question. Xion waved when the officer looked at her. "She's pregnant, so I didn't want to drive as fast as I usually do."

The officer raised an eyebrow at that. "I doubt driving at the speed limit on a nearly empty road would be detrimental to her. And I have to admit…it's a bit weird that you chose this road in the first place when there are no exits in case she needed a bathroom break."

"I haven't eaten all morning," Xion mumbled, although she was mostly ignored.

"We were just trying to see some scenery…" Axel continued, his face blank and tone friendly, yet there was a sheen of sweat on his brow.

She looked over the top of their car at the supposed scenery. Nothing but desert. "Right… We're going to need to check the car. Kidnappers on the loose and all, I'm sure you've heard. Open the trunk, please," she said as she waved a few of her fellows over. Knowing it wasn't a request, Axel did so, using the opportunity to mumble a quick order to the other two.

"Run."

The moment the trunk was open, all three of them bolted. Axel was grateful to see that Xion had thought to grab the duffel bag, although that, mixed with her own body's limitations, made her a bit slower and Roxas had to stay with her to make sure she didn't trip and fall. The officers were distracted enough with the discovery inside the trunk that they had a delayed reaction to the three escaped car occupants. This, unfortunately, didn't last long.

"It _is_ them! King Ansem wants them alive!" she shouted. The officers she called over gave chase while the others shot at them with stunners. It was truly becoming a far direr situation than they had first anticipated. And there was still no sign of Xigbar.

"Well…it's nice to know this turned out how we planned," Roxas huffed.

"Less talking, more running," was Axel's rushed response.

"Wait, wait! More talking might be what we need!" Xion half shouted. Considering how red her ears were, she was probably trying to talk over the sound of her blood rushing in them. That wasn't the important detail however. What was truly important was the look she was giving Roxas' other hand as she spoke. He still had the PHS clutched in it.

"Rox, call—"

"I'm right ahead of ya," he said as he redialed Xigbar's number. It was a bit more difficult considering they were being chased and shot at (although it seemed as if the officers chasing them were throwing off the aim of the ones shooting at them as they had yet to be hit or even grazed by anything).

"Xig! Where the hell are you?!"

There was silence and, much to the happiness of Axel and Xion, a sigh of relief from Roxas.

"That's good to hear. So that means you're on your way right? Wait…what? …Look…up?"

Axel did just that. There in the sky, closing in on them, was a dark grey and red gummi ship flying towards them right out of Departure. Just behind him, Roxas listened into the phone for a little longer before taking it away from his ear to stare at it incredulously.

"What…happened?" Xion wheezed. Axel was starting to feel really bad for putting her through this, but there was too much of a clusterfuck going on to really slow down and give her a chance to rest. They were no longer being shot at, but there were far more police chasing them and they could hear the screeching of the princess in the distance. She was likely egging them on to get them to somehow arrest the trio faster.

"He asked how good we are at running onto moving ships…" Roxas said.

"That son of a bitch," Axel cursed to himself before grabbing the duffel bag out of Xion's hand and twisting around to smack the officer who almost grabbed her in the face, causing him to knock into his partner from the force. He faced front again to find out exactly what Xigbar meant. They would have to practically jump onto the boarding platform and hope they didn't slide back out before it closed while the ship flew away. This would be fun.

"Brace yourselves."

They jumped. It was as if the world was in slow motion. Axel could feel his heart skip a beat when his feet left the ground. There was the brush of something whizzing past his skin. They were being shot at again. He looked over at Roxas and Xion; Xion had her eyes closed and her hand clasped tightly around Roxas' wrist…he must have accidentally let go of her hand while jumping. His eyes were concentrated on the metal that had finally made its way beneath their feet. Axel turned his attention to his feet as well and suddenly the world sped up again when they hit the platform running. Everyone ducked and covered their heads as stun shots were sent their way before scrabbling for something to hold on to when the ship started moving and the platform started closing. They slowed down and collapsed, gasping for breath, when the platform shut itself tight.

"Well, wasn't that worthy of an action movie!"

Everyone looked up at the voice, quickly finding the source. A man with a gray pilot's suit and a red bandana tied around his neck started clapping as he sauntered towards the trio. The smirk on his face and easy-going lilt in his accent were unmistakable, as was the eyepatch.

"If it isn't the Great Mercenary Xigbar. Nice to see you too," Axel growled sarcastically.

"Whoa, hey! I made it in time, didn't I?" Xibgar shrugged, his eyes roaming all three of them in interest.

"Who's the lass?" he asked as his eyes landed on Xion.

"A friend," Roxas answered, wary. He still didn't trust Xigbar, even though he was grateful for the timely rescue.

"A friend of yours, Tiger? I know Red here doesn't like making friends. You the one that put the bun in her oven?"

"Yes, she is my friend…so leave her alone," Xigbar mockingly raised his hands in surrender, "And no, I didn't get her pregnant. That's not my fucking name, by the way."

Xion took a moment to catch her breath before raising shaky hand in a wave.

"Hi. I'm Xion. I'm going with these two now, so you don't need to drop me off anywhere," she said in practically one breath.

"That's good to hear, since we've got police ships on our ass," Xigbar smirked, "Oh, and I'm sure you already know, but I'm Braig—Xigbar if you want to call me by my professional name."

Xion nodded, ignoring the mumbled curses of the two beside her at the words 'police ships', while looking Xigbar over for a moment.

"So, you're a mercenary. But you have an official pilot's uniform?"

"Used to be an official pilot until the accident. They took away my job and my license and I used my skills instead to become a man for hire. Even bought me a nice, fancy ship…"

Xion didn't miss that he rubbed at the scar peeking out from beneath his eyepatch at the word accident.

"Yeah, yeah, introductions and all. Can you do something about the Po's?" Axel asked almost desperately.

"I don't know… What's in it for me?" Xigbar asked playfulness. Which, of course, was not very appropriate for the moment.

"A punch in the nads if you don't."

"Ha! I'm the one who saved your punk ass. You can do better than that!"

Rolling his eyes, Axel reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a handful of the treasure. Xigbar held out a hand expectantly, which Axel gave the evil eye to, before payment was properly set in it.

"Nice. You guys made out like bandits. Head on into my humble abode while I man the guns. Don't worry, my protégés can maneuver this puppy pretty well, so we shouldn't get hit back…much."

With that, Xigbar walked away, waving at the trio. They exchanged befuddled looks before heading further inside the ship. For as dark as the outside of the ship seemed, the inside was bright and colorful, and as Axel, Roxas, and Xion entered the Gummi pit, revealed six young adults, all meandering around as they worked (all except for the two who were flying). In the pilot's seat sat a girl around eighteen or nineteen with, funnily enough, curly brown hair and green eyes glancing at them curiously. However, unlike the Twilight Town officer, she had a relaxed smile on her face despite the situation they were in, wearing a bright yellow female version of the pilot's uniform Xigbar owned. Considering how scuffed it looked around the seams, it must've been handmade. Next to her, acting as co-pilot was a boy similar in age, with tanned brown skin –in fact, all of the occupants seemed to be rather tan– and dirty blond hair. He, seeming less focused on the flight, blatantly stared at them with clear, ocean blue eyes. Behind him, a larger guy with ridiculously styled red hair and overalls that served less of a purpose as clothes, and more as hand towels glanced at them before returning to the task at hand. It seemed the Navi-G piece wasn't the only problem the ship was having as he fiddled with an opened box attached to the ship and filled with wires. He mumbled harshly to himself when the ship tilted to avoid fire, earning a "sorry" from the pilot. The other three, a girl with chin-length red hair, a boy with spikey brown hair, and a boy with short silver hair, all wearing the same handmade uniforms the pilot was, seemed to not be doing too much and as such, wandered over to the newcomers to introduce themselves.

"So you guys are who Xig said we'd be picking up. That was a pretty cool getaway, huh? I'm Sora, by the way. This is Riku and Kairi. Over in the seats are Selphie and Tidus, and over there wading in wires and screwing with the gummi pieces is Wakka," the brown haired boy said, pointing to each person respectively before holding out his hand. Axel shook it first, then Roxas, then Xion.

"Nice to meet you. I never knew Xig had picked up…ehm…protégés. Judging from your names and looks, you guys are from Destiny Islands, right? How in Hades' Chambers did you meet Xigbar?"

"He, uh…he crashed on our island. …We're not allowed to talk about it."

The story must've been intriguing considering how the mention of this event brought snorts and giggles out of all the other occupants. Just then, as if he could hear the conversation, Xigbar's voice echoed in a static filled drawl across the ship.

"You guys better not be talking about the banana incident. I'll be docking your pay if you are!"

The giggling promptly stopped.

"…Was that were he lost his eye?" Xion whispered, wondering if Xigbar really could hear her.

"Nah, that happened before we met him. This one's where the cheek scar came from," Kairi answered in a similarly quiet voice.

"So…he crashed into your island…because of a banana?" Axel asked in a more normal tone.

"Oh no!" Kairi continued, her voice rising as well, "There wasn't just a banana involved. That was just the icing on the cake."

"It's also the funniest part of the story. I can't imagine your guys' escape was any less exciting though." This was said by Tidus as he grinned back at the thieves.

"Oh! I wanna hear about that too!" Selphie piped in, her attention still firmly in front of her. The ship tilted again and another string of curses was heard from Wakka.

"Trust me. It was stressful and boring. We kidnapped a princess and drove around a bunch. The only interesting parts were the police chase and the nuns…" Roxas said, picking at his ear in disinterest.

"They were nice…" Axel added.

"Where do nuns even come into the picture?" Sora asked, eyebrows raised practically to his hairline.

"…We were being shot at…they had a transport…" Roxas answered sheepishly.

"They tried to convert us though…" Axel once again added.

Everyone stared. Xion included.

"Wait, you're surprised? I thought you were with them?" Riku asked Xion, pointing at the pair of thieves. She held up her hands in defense.

"Hey! I didn't kidnap any princesses! She was already in the trunk when they picked me up!"

The collective "what?!" resonated throughout the Gummi pit.

"Well, finally they gave up the chase once we got far enough out above the ocean. They'll send out a search most likely, give up, and then apologize to Ansem for his missing pocket change. Easy peasy."

Everyone looked up from their current jobs as Xigbar walked into the Pit, brushing his hands together as if dusting them off. There was a sigh heard from Axel and Roxas, who had sat down in a corner to try and stay out of the way. Xion was resting on the couch the two were leaning up against as all the excitement had finally worn her out.

"We're nearing the border to Wutai now. We're just a regular mercenary ship, so we shouldn't garner too much attention. Ansem's dogs on the other hand would be stupid to come near here," Selphie smiled at them.

"Sounds good to me," Wakka huffed, "Think while we're there, we can find a real mechanic?"

"As if. You lumps of flesh are _way_ cheaper than professionals," Xigbar said as he waved his hand in dismissal. Everyone grumbled at him in return.

"So how long until we get there?" Axel asked. Roxas was busy waking Xion up, knowing it wouldn't be long. She smacked at him a couple times in her sleep for his efforts, but he endured.

"A few minutes at best. Like I said, my ship's one of the fastest."

"Not as fast as the Black Pearl," Sora whispered to Kairi and Riku, causing them both to snicker. Xigbar caught it anyway.

"No fairy tale legend from Disney's gonna match up to my ship. Aren't you three supposed to be working?" he growled at them. All three exchanged glances.

"Probably," they said in unison. Xigbar grabbed the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Land ho!" Selphie shouted.

"Huh? …Who's a ho?" Xion murmured blearily. She finally woke up. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"You are, Four Months."

This earned him a punch on the shoulder. Axel ignored them both, getting up to look out at the approaching land of Wutai. Home, Sweet Home. At least no one was waiting to arrest them there. Selphie and Tidus seemed to know where they were going as they flew the Gummi Ship down to a long road leading into what seemed to be a thicket of trees. When the ship finally landed, it carried them into an opening and everyone on the ship watched in wonder as the massive trees on either side lined their pathway to a small building.

"Gentlemen, and Little Miss, welcome to Wutai. Hopefully, I won't have to pick you up from any more heists gone wrong?" Xigbar inquired with an amused smile.

"Nah," Axel smiled, wrapping an arm around Roxas' shoulders which earned him a smile in return, "That was our biggest job yet. _And_ we don't have to shell most of it over to Baku? I think we can safely retire with what we have."

"Retire? Looking at that bag, you guys could probably buy the palace from Emperor Godo…" Tidus said, eyeing the bag jealously.

"Speaking of the Emperor, does he know about this place? How often do you guys come here?" Roxas asked, looking out at the small building the Gummi Ship was slowly stopping in front of.

"Pshh, please. Do you know how much that guy pays mercenaries? The question is, how many people has he hired Xig to shoot in the face?" Sora said.

"Fifty-six," Xigbar answered easily.

"You kept track of the people you shoot in the face?" Axel asked, skepticism in his expression.

"As if. I keep track of the paychecks I get from said face-shooting."

"Hey!"

Everyone looked up at Wakka's exclamation. His hands against the glass and his eyes glued to the ground outside, he asked: "Who's that?"

Both Selphie and Tidus stood from their seats as everyone wandered over to see. There was indeed a figure on the ground. She was waiting for them.

"Hmm…no one but good ole Godo should know about this place…"

"Maybe he knew you were coming and sent someone ahead?"

Xigbar was already shaking his head by the middle of Roxas' suggestion.

" _I_ didn't even know we were coming here until you guys called me from Twilight Town. There's no way _he_ knew…"

"Well, we can't go back now. Might as well see what she wants. I'll hold onto the bag. Rox, you and Xion try to make conversation with her. If it looks like things are going bad…we're running."

"Good luck, you two," Selphie said. There were wishes of good luck and farewell from all of the Destiny Island kids. The trio said their good byes as well before making their way down the opened boarding platform. Just before they stepped off, Xigbar gave his own farewell.

"If you need anything else, you know how to get in touch. Try not to get run out of this country, kay?" he smirked.

"Got it memorized, Xig. See ya when we see ya," Axel replied. He turned to see that Roxas and Xion had already started towards the figured on the ground. A young woman, maybe twenty or so, with short black hair, light, warm weather clothes…and a large shuriken secured on her back. Clearly they were getting a polite welcome. She watched curiously as the two, three when Axel found the will to walk towards the armed stranger, continued in a bee line straight for her. Roxas cleared his throat and paused in thought for a moment before he started speaking.

"Yonshihima. Um… monokiru. Kasakisahi ma kemika o uk…crap, I mean fuki shi…chise?"

"Hofu a?" the young woman replied in amusement.

"…Mami?" Roxas said apprehensively. Axel, having no idea what was being said, simply nodded along in hopes it would give them a friendlier appearance. Xion was too busy mentally translating to pay much attention. Her concentration, along with everyone else's was broken when Xigbar's Gummi Ship started turning around and driving back down the road, preparing to take off. Well…there went their easiest escape choice. If things went badly, that is.

"…Kasaki ma wahasa o denzo mu mahakiyanu."

"Oh," Roxas scratched at his head a bit, "It would've been nice if you told me that in the first place."

"Nah, it was entertaining watching you try. You did pretty good, though."

Both Axel and Xion did a double take, Axel because the woman was speaking Common, and Xion because she just realized what the woman said. That, and she was speaking Common.

"You speak the Common Language?" Axel asked incredulously.

"Duh. We're not as uneducated as Radiant and Midgar want you to think. I bet you thought we all live in huts and only the merchants know any language other than Wutain, huh?" she smirked.

"Yeah, that's generally the impression. But then, the Kingdom and Midgar have been wrong about plenty of things before…" Xion said, "By the way, why were you waiting for us?"

The woman waved for the three to follow her before turning around and heading back to the large gummi transport she must've arrived in.

"Dad sent me here. He saw on the news that his old hitman was headed this way and wanted me to come out here and greet him. I guess he was dropping you guys off, then," she said as she walked.

"Wait…your dad's old hitman? Xig said he was hired by…" Axel trailed off.

"Emperor Godo," Roxas finished.

Everyone stared at the woman. She stared back.

"Yeah, Godo's my dad…"

…

"Another Princess, Roxas."

"…Another Princess, Axel."

Said Princess started laughing when she heard them groan.

"Speaking of, that was pretty hilarious what you guys did with Princess Naminé. You had the whole palace in stitches. I always knew that spoiled brat needed to be taken down a peg!"

"I'm guessing you've met her, Miss…" Xion started.

"Oh! Right! Name's Yuffie, also known as the Great Ninja Yuffie, the White Rose of Wutai, yada yada… You can just call me Yuffie, though. And to answer your question: yes, I've met the little snowball. She kept talking slowly to me as if I couldn't understand her. I wanted to smash a pie in her face, but nooo! _Aggravated assault against a royal in their own country can start a war, Yuffie. We don't hit people with desserts, Yuffie_." At this point she stuck out her tongue childishly, leaving the trio to wonder exactly how old she was.

They had made it to the transport by now. Everyone stood awkwardly in front of it. Yuffie watched her new guests with an eyebrow raised.

"Well, get in," she said.

Eyebrows were raised at her in return.

"Do you want to stand around in the woods for the rest of your lives?" she sighed.

"Where are you going to take us?" Axel asked suspiciously.

"To the palace, so Dad can thank you for making a fool out of King Ansem. He really hates that guy."

Silence.

"No, seriously."

"… I am serious."

"Emperor Godo wants to thank us…for stealing jewels from Ansem and kidnapping his daughter?" Roxas asked, eyes narrowed in confusion.

"It's not like you're getting a parade in the streets. He probably just wants an excuse to drink himself silly, so he's using this as a reason to celebrate. Plus, you guys will be in the capitol, so that's a prime area to find a new home—which I know you'll need, since you're wanted in three countries now. Judging by the look of that bag, you could probably buy the palace from him…"

"Funny, you're not the only person who said that…"

"Go on! Get in! I'm sure you're exhausted and I don't want to stay out here and get eaten up by bugs," Yuffie ushered them into the transport before climbing in herself (and setting her Shuriken in the passenger's seat). She started the transport up, and drove onto the road and into the opening of the small building, which was mostly empty and only had one other exit. This road was smaller and much more suited for transports rather than ships.

"This…turned out better than I expected," Roxas said, earning nods from the two on either side of him. He squished himself into Axel's side to give Xion more room. The look on her face, however, suggested she thought he scooched over for an entirely different reason.

"Yeah," she said, grinning, "Now you two can snuggle without having to worry about getting arrested."

"Ha! We wouldn't be scratching our asses without having to worry about being arrested if we were still in Radiant," Axel snorted. He seemed to appreciate this moment, regardless. Once again putting an arm around Roxas, they enjoyed the snuggle they didn't think they'd get from the moment they climbed out of that castle window.

"So…if you two are a thing?" Yuffie asked, her eyes sliding over to Xion in the rearview. "Then who's the baby's dad?"

Xion shrugged.

"Don't know, don't care. These two are buying me a mansion for the crap we just went through."

Two heads slowly turned towards Xion with blank looks on their faces.

"Wait, what?"

She returned the expression.

"You heard me."

Yuffie laughed as the two grumbled to each other.

Things turned out better than expected for everyone, it seemed.

A/N: This has been my brain child for a few months now, and I finally stopped being lazy and decided to go ahead and write it. So yeah…happy AkuRoku day.

It's still a thing, right?

*Also, in case anyone was wondering, the "Wutain" is actually the Japanese version of Al Bhed… I'm not creative enough to make up my own languages.


End file.
